2008 is winding down and New Year’s Eve is coming fast.
You’ll blow the horns, make a few toasts. It’ll be
another New Year’s party with no one you really want to
kiss at midnight. Another lonely year staring you in the
face.
But it
doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, 2009 can be the
year you find the
love of your life.
You can create the stuff of your dreams by making a
simple shift that changes the way you date this year.
You can make a resolution right now, right here as you
read this dating guide, to find new love that is better
than any relationship you have had before.
For
singles, the chances of
finding a mate
could be better than ever! The average marriage now
lasts under seven years, and this means new singles are
coming on the scene all the time. In fact, around 16
million people are now using
online dating
in the U.S. You have a lot of singles to choose from.
So go on, make the affirmation. Something like, “I will
find a mate who is just right for me.” Here is an
eight-step action plan that can make your resolution a
reality in 2009:

1. Prioritize Finding Love. Imagine if you
didn’t have a job. Looking for one would be your top
priority. You would spend hours searching sites like
Yahoo! Hotjobs, calling recruiters, and jumping on any
leads. In contrast, finding love ranks pretty low on
your to-do list. You come home from work, run errands,
call your friends, watch your favorite show, and maybe
spend 15 minutes browsing your
online dating site.
Most singles are better at planning their weekend than
planning their dating life. Yet study after study has
shown that relationships are treasured above all else
when we reflect on what has meant the most in our lives.
So make finding a mate a top priority.
2. Have a ‘New You’ Party. Invite friends over
for a New You party where they give you a makeover. Let
them go through your clothes, getting rid of
unflattering stuff and putting together some hot new
looks for you. Find a look that makes you feel great.
Tell your friends you are looking to
meet someone
special. Email the same message to any other buddies
who did not make the party.
3. Work Your Online Dating Site. Throw out your
old photo and profile. Have a friend who is a good
photographer take 100 headshots of you in order to get
one that looks especially warm, attractive, and
inviting. Get some opposite-sex friends to help you pick
out the best photo and work on your
dating profile.
After you post them, spend at least three hours a week
looking around the site, sending and responding to
messages, and connecting by phone and in person with
people. Block out time in your daily calendar to work
the site.
4. Go Where the Odds Are Better. Sign up for
two ongoing classes or activities that interest you and
have lots of singles in them. Finance courses, rock
climbing, golfing, snowboarding/skiing, and hiking are
great for meeting
single men. Single women are plentiful at cooking
classes, yoga, and spirituality workshops.Coed city
sports teams are great and usually have an even mix of
genders. Look into volunteering for a local or national
political group. There are many other activities to
consider, so search online, or go to www.meetup.com and
peruse their groups.
5. Meet New People. Say hello to three new men
or women every day. Assuming you are in a safe or public
place, make eye contact, smile, say hi or ask for some
help. This is what I call the Marcia Cross Technique.
Actress Marcia Cross was in her forties when she met her
husband by chatting with him in a flower shop. She now
is the ecstatic mother of twin baby girls. You can start
with saying hello to the less threatening types and work
your way up to the ones who are “out of your league.”
You will be surprised how receptive the cuties can be!
6.
Date Against Type.
Most
singles do not find love with the type of person
they imagine for themselves.
Most singles do not find love with the type of person
they imagine for themselves. The guy who wants a petite
blonde winds up with a brainy brunette. The woman who
dates starving artists marries a rich, balding lawyer.
Look at photos and profiles that you would ordinarily
take a quick pass on. Try and experiment. You may be
very happily surprised!
7. Go for a Second Date. Even if you are not
exactly blown away by a person on the first date,
remember to stay open. You cannot know what secret
goodies are hidden in someone just by meeting them once.
You have to let a potential partner unfold and show you
his/her different sides. If there is any connection with
this person at all, give it another chance. Love almost
always comes in a surprise package.
8.
Open the Door. If you do meet someone and have a
really good time, send a quick text or email the next
morning to let the person know that the door is open to
getting together again. This is especially important for
women to do. Write something specific about the date
that points to the connection between the two of you or
refers to something you both loved.
Now you have your love resolution and plan. Most
importantly, commit to the first step and make finding a
mate your top priority. Then follow the recommended
program to create the love you want in the coming year.
Chances are, by next New Year’s Eve you’ll be kissing
the one you want.
For the
latest research on singles finding love, read my new
book, “Love
in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True
Love.”